How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

Everyone got a good giggle out of this fit Christmas. My brother is a gun enthusiast with 3 cats. It was a perfect gag gift!

Let me just start by extending my utmost gratitude and appreciation to the author of this book. For years I watched in horror as my cat made decision after reckless decision, wasting eight of his precious God given lives. A tale as old as time...His first life was lost to marijuana poisoning. Second and third, sacrificial satanic rituals gone awry. Fourth life lost after a pistol misfire during a wild western style dual with the neighbor’s cat...(and don’t even get me started on the neighbor’s cat!) In his fifth life he hussled too hard. That one is particularly difficult for me to talk about without triggering a series of violent emotional fits, my apologies. During his sixth life he dabbled purr-fusely as an esteemed purr-fessional gigalo, falling victim to a wicked transmitted disease (Looking at you, neighbor’s cat!!!), the likes of which modern medicine has yet to find a cure. Much to my dismay, both his seventh AND eighth lives were spent smuggling weapons (and catnip) across the Canadian border. My cat, an arms dealer? And smuggling the “purr-p nip” illegals?! I’d just about had it, friends. One day shortly after he’d entered his ninth life, I noticed he’d checked out a book on Satanism from our local library. I’d also witnessed him making soft eyes at the neighbor’s cat. "NOT AGAIN" I thought, “NOT THIS TIME AROUND.” Fearful of what would happen if I didn’t intervene, I began to research diligently for any applicable preventative guidance that might be available to the public. I was determined to secure the purity and safety of my dear cat during his final curtain call in this malicious world! By chance, I stumbled upon this glorious and assistive owners guide. It has more than just your average, run of the mill tips and tricks. It provided my wounded heart and weary spirit with a roadmap to facilitating positive change. In it I found a fresh perspective and countless renewed approaches for talking openly with my cat, sans hesitation. We discussed the errs of recklessness with calculated purr-pose. Sure, we were both hesitant at first... cautious, slightly flustered and embarrassed. Despite the temporary social discomfort this book paved way for opportunity in developing an unfiltered bond of trust between the two of us. We collaborated. We discussed our feelings and experiences. We enlightened each other with the gift of perspective from our own personal lens. My cat now lives each day to the absolute fullest. He helps out around the house, folds laundry, and even makes dinner one night a week. He studied and invested in the stock market, finding a decent amount of success therein. He hasn’t stolen my car or any petty cash from my purse to this date and has yet to watch a single R rated film, insisting he has no desire to ever do so (the only exception being the Wolf of Wall Street). As an additional bonus he managed to convert the neighbor’s cat to Christianity, both of them swearing scout’s honor to a life of respectable celibacy! He also practices mindfulness, meditation and gratitude in hopes to one day land among the monks. Friends, I can now proudly declare that my cat has turned over many a new leaf! He is a positive and astute influence for all, a jovial saint, a blessing with fur—and it’s all thanks to this book! If you can relate in any way to the troubles and tribulations outlined in this review and are for some reason still on the fence about purchasing this book, allow me put your indecision to bed. You will not regret this investment in the slightest. Even if you don’t personally own a cat but know someone that does, buy it. It’s worth every penny to secure this credible, top-drawer reference guide! Educate yourself and everyone you know for the greater good. Don’t wait for your cat to lose another of their nine lives, buy today! Knowledge is power and safety is key, click “buy it now” and grateful you’ll be. All the stars!

GREAT BOOK! This book is hilariously and very well written. It is funny & punny without being dull or slow moving. It has brought a lot of laughter and joy to myself, my family, and the most recent friend I've lent it to cannot put it down! Very cute take on pure silliness with just a hint of reality and real world issue tackling.

Very funny. Great book to leave out on coffee table or wherever for guests to notice. They get a laugh, you get a chuckle. Some very smart advice on being good cat parents and children's parents

bought this as a xmas gift, they all thought it was super funny as well! but honestly when ur reading more into it, some topics in it r wild- very traditional and political stuff that kinda surprised me LOL ! i couldn’t tell if it was being sarcastic or honest. it’s definitely more right leaning, christian, and traditional values so the writing felt uhhh dated i suppose- no judgement ofc 😅 but still super funny!

This looked like a pretty dumb book, but once I saw it, I HAD to read it so I ordered myself a copy. Having finished reading it, I realized that it IS a pretty dumb book, but I had a good laugh reading it. Essentially, it's like every insanely radical right social critic got together to write a book about raising children and some joker jumped in at the last second and switched children to cats, and then added lots of silly "purr", "fur", "meow" and "paws" puns and photoshopped images of cats for hilarity. The book gives different topics to raise in conversation with your cat: - Gun Safety : arm the hell out of our cats because of the 2nd Amendment - Evolution : specifically that it goes against the Bible - Abstinence : because single teen-mom kitties raise kittens who grow up to be "Meowllenials" - Online Safety : to protect them from their natural enemies, namely huge birds - Drugs : it's how Big Pharma and "mewslims" want to weaken our country - Puberty : specifically how not to raise a "homewsexual" - Postapocalyptic Survival : or you and your cat will be killed - Satanism : specifically condemning any pop culture phenomenon that glorifies "magic". Grand Theft Auto and Call of Duty video games are fine, though. The whole thing is so close to the Alex Jones/Mark Dice/Sean Hannity/Insane Preacher/Ted Nugent rants that inspired this that it's actually kind of sad, but is still funny. Overall, it is an insane thing to leave on your coffee table, as well as a great gag gift for people who don't associate with either side of the partisan extreme. Right-wingers will be offended that their insane manifesto is being mocked, while extreme leftists will fail to see the satire in this, or better yet, think it's a serious book PRETENDING to be satire. Gotta love the times we live in...

"How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety" is a delightful and lighthearted guide that offers a unique approach to tackling serious topics in a humorous way. This book is a refreshing and entertaining read for cat owners and enthusiasts. Engaging and Accessible Writing Style: The author skillfully combines humor and wit to deliver valuable information. The writing style is engaging and approachable, making it easy to follow along and enjoy the book's content. It strikes a perfect balance between entertainment and providing essential guidance. Humorous Yet Thought-Provoking Topics: The book covers a range of absurd scenarios, including gun safety, that are presented with a comedic twist. It humorously highlights the importance of responsible behavior and prompts readers to think critically about various everyday situations. It cleverly uses these scenarios as a platform to discuss broader issues surrounding safety and responsibility. Quirky Illustrations: The inclusion of charming and whimsical illustrations adds an extra layer of enjoyment to the reading experience. The artwork complements the humorous tone of the book, making it even more visually appealing and memorable. Unique Concept: "How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety" stands out from traditional self-help books by presenting serious subjects through a comical lens. It takes an imaginative and unexpected approach, providing an entertaining way to address important conversations and raising awareness about responsible behavior. Light-hearted Entertainment: This book is an excellent choice for those looking for a light-hearted and amusing read. It offers a refreshing break from heavier subjects, offering a chuckle-inducing experience that is sure to bring a smile to readers' faces. In conclusion, "How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety" is a whimsical and enjoyable guide that cleverly blends humor with important messages. It's a must-read for cat owners seeking a unique take on responsible behavior. This book proves that learning and laughter can go hand in hand, making it a delightful addition to any bookshelf.

The kids loved this at Christmas. Great book.

The back of the book is crumpled and I can see scratches too. This was suppose to be gift for someone but the quality of this book received is really poor :(

Ich hab das Buch als Geschenk gekauft und musste aber selber einige Seiten durchlesen. Der etwas derbere Humor ist nicht für jeden Katzenfreund, aber mir hat das Buch sowie den Beschenkten total gefallen.

Bought for a few friends. ..so friggen hilarious. AI written or not, it's still funny.

Satirical. Read this with a sense of humour. Not to be taken seriously at all. This book is a wonderful satirical view of the modern world, it is quite USA-centric in the language and references, but can equally be enjoyed by those of us on this side of the Atlantic. Covers all the bases, and ridicules the state of society today. By using cats, instead of humans, as the subject matter, it further emphasises the ridiculousness of the modern world without offending people (too much). A good holiday read, the title alone is what encouraged the purchase, and I couldn't put it down until I had finished it. Which is rare for someone with ADHD who gets distracted by all of a sudden having the urge to empty the crumb tray of a toaster, or the lint catcher on a dryer. I didn't even feel the urge to sharpen the kitchen knives and tighten the screw-on handles of the pots and pans while cooking lunch. A great read. If you have a sense of humour.

If you want your cat to have even the slightest chance of surviving in the modern world and be prepared of how it's changing, this is the book for you. It contain so much more than just gun safety, and it is crucial that your cat get this information. One of my cats fall asleep while reading it to them tho, so I'm not sure he will be sufficiently prepared for the eventual collapse of civilization.