The Confidence Code: A Scientific Guide to finding Trust in Your Decision Making

The Confidence Code by Claire Shipman and Katty Kay is a wonderful book. It's funny (Katty Kay learning to kiteboard), relatable (stellar international leaders Christine Lagarde and Angela Merkel comforting each other when male politicians beat up on them), and easy to read. Well researched, the book contains pages of helpful information, not only to understand why we as a gender tend to lag in confidence but also what to do about it. (Although the book would be good resource for any adult who lacks confidence, it's aimed at women.) Apart from making you feel good, why is confidence important? According to the authors, ..."there is evidence that confidence is more important than ability when it comes to getting ahead," on the job and in life generally. Good compensation, happiness, and professional fulfillment may depend on confidence. Not born confident? Don't worry. "The newest research shows that we can literally change our brains (to make us) more confidence prone." There's a lot of wisdom in the Confidence Code. One nugget is this: "Most people believe they need to criticize themselves in order to find motivation to reach their goals. In fact, when you constantly criticize yourself, you become depressed, and depression is not a motivational mindset." Also, "...Of all the warped things that women do to themselves to undermine their confidence, we found the pursuit of perfection to be the most crippling...you'll inevitably and routinely feel inadequate." But most of us are perfectionists. How do we overcome these behaviors? To get answers, Shipman and Kay interview and cite many thoughtful and engaging experts, who are quoted throughout the book, but the short course is this: Stop overthinking everything. Have courage, take action, congratulate yourself for trying regardless of outcome, and move on. Engage in self-compassion. Practice / do the work. Mastery in one thing spills over into other areas. Meditation can shrink your amygdalae (the region of the brain that amps up fear) and stimulate your prefrontal cortex (the calm, rational area). If that's too much work, concentrate on how you present yourself physically. Practice power positions. Spread out. Take up space. Keep your chin raised. Don't use "upspeak" (i.e. sound like a Valley Girl when you talk). There's so much more, but here's the thing I want you to remember: the development of confidence is volitional - a choice. Or as Shipman and Kay put it: "Our biggest and perhaps most encouraging discovery has been that confidence is something we can, to a significant extent, control." What an important life skill for women of all ages to learn, and to teach their daughters and granddaughters.

The Confidence Code is a quick, practical read on building real confidence—especially for women. It was recommended for me to purchase for my daughter. It mixes science, stories, and advice to help you stop overthinking and start doing. If you want to stop second-guessing yourself and go for more, this book’s worth picking up. Highly recommend.

I bought this book awhile ago, before I retired, because I was in an ill-fitting job, a quiet introvert among a group of extremely confident extroverts, and I was desperate for help. I didn't read it at that time. I wish I had. I have never been good at self-promotion, but in a workplace full of those who are, it's necessary. And this book shows how reasonable and honest self-promotion is a good thing and not a display of arrogance. We think nothing of men pushing themselves forward and touting their accomplishments, but in women it's considered tacky. This book points out how men learn, from childhood on, how to be confident, how to fail without feeling like a failure, while women tend to back away from that. Perhaps it is changing now, but that is definitely how it was when I was growing up. And worse, it was such a part of the social fabric that I never even thought twice about it. Women who talked themselves up were haughty. Humility was more attractive for women. But this left us vulnerable in the workplace, relegated to the back as men naturally push forward, and that is what the boss sees, leaving women's contributions unnoticed or under-noticed. I experienced this myself as, uncomfortable speaking up, I would hear others say what I was silently thinking and they got credit while I appeared mute and empty of ideas. Very foolish on my part. This book helps explain a lot of the thinking behind these types of actions and shows ways to change. Truly, I thought this would be just another flavor of the day business book but I was pleasantly surprised. It is primarily aimed at the work world but contains information useful at any point in life. I'm glad I finally read it.

Definitely worth the read if you’re a woman who has ever struggled with people pleasing, ruminating, self-doubt, overthinking and more! There’s so much that holds us back but this book has helped set me free and become bolder in my own feminine way.

Greatly written book supported by research and scientific data, taking into account from various angles of women confidence. I’d say must read for all women - even the confident ones.

The quality of the book is as expected.

The book does start out slow, but I find it to be well researched and provides a lot of good evidence for their suggestions. As well as a lot of good practical advice, backed by science. I think any woman in the workplace needs to pick this book up and read it and understand that this is going to be the key to getting ahead.

The book is a great read and highly recommended to all women! It was sad that a dealer like Crossword sent me copies that had bad covers. These books were intended as gifts and due to paucity of time had to be given to the recipients (with some embarrassment). Would have been a delighted customer but for this lapse.

Recommended to me and I have recommended it to others. Its easy to read lightness does not distract from the gravity of the topic or the quality of the research. The central message is clear, feels honest and importantly feels believable and achievable. One of those 'every young woman should read' books. Equally useful to those of us who are still 17, but only inside!