TOPPING BOOK (NET)

I had mixed feelings about "The New Bottoming Book," so it was with somewhat reserved enthusiasm that I picked up its companion volume. I was heartened to discover that "The New Topping Book" included a chapter on full-time D/s, a subject dear to my heart which the authors had previously treated by turns with disdain and disregard.Indeed, Easton and Hardy get off to a promising start here, as they discuss the appeal of topping, the rights and responsibilities of the top, and an exploration of the top persona(e). Unfortunately, the book loses steam about a quarter of the way through. After a brief, rather mystical digression in which the authors wax almost poetic about "intuition" - in fact, they freely admit that "much of this chapter will sound too New Age for words" to many readers - they get back to practical matters, but these chapters are bogged down in unnecessary elaboration and repetition. Easton and Hardy regularly take a page or two to say what could have been said perfectly well in a medium-length paragraph, and some subjects are discussed basically the same way in each of two or more chapters, with the later treatments of the topic adding little or nothing to the first.The authors discuss how to find a partner and how to prepare for a scene. They describe the course of a scene and how to wrap it up, and they provide a basic introduction to the most common BDSM implements and activities. Although the presentation is somewhat tedious for the reasons mentioned above, these chapters are sprinkled with intriguing anecdotes and insights. A number of erotic "interludes" scattered throughout the book describe in detail scenes in which the authors and their friends have been involved; these demonstrate some of the variety among scenes and among tops themselves. It's clear from the chapter on lifestyle D/s that Easton and Hardy still don't quite "get" what it is and why people do it, but at least this time around they've made the attempt.Unfortunately, the last few chapters of the book veer off course. The chapter on using BDSM to explore personal or cultural trauma is intriguing, if a bit New Age-y (again). In the next chapter, the authors discuss BDSM spirituality, and that's where they go completely off the deep end. It's not that there's nothing of value in what they have to say; a brief chapter on such an intensely personal subject is hardly going to capture every possible variety of experience. Still, in a book that takes such commendable, if sometimes overeager, pains to acknowledge diversity in the areas of gender, race, and sexual orientation, it's disconcerting to see the authors suddenly assume that their readers will share their personal spiritual views. Adherents of the Abrahamic religions (that's over half the people on this planet) will find little to nothing here that meshes with their traditions and worldview. The concepts of ritual, archetype, and even mystical "energy" resonate with me to some degree, personally and sexually as well as spiritually, so I was basically with the authors that far even if some of the specifics along the way left me cold - but when they started saying things like "Magic works," as if it were an indisputable fact, they lost me. (And the reference to Puritans being "convinced that God hated sex"? Wrong, wrong, WRONG. They believed sex was part of God's good creation, and although they considered it proper only within the context of monogamous heterosexual marriage, Puritan writers and preachers encouraged husbands and wives to "become one flesh" with joy, affection, and mutual delight.)There are enough good things in this book to make it worthwhile reading for the novice top and a worthy addition to the BDSM library, but it probably shouldn't be the first thing you read, and certainly it shouldn't be the only.

If you only read one book to become familiar with the rewards and responsibilities of being a Top -- this is the book to read. With the companion volume, The New Bottoming Book, this team really explores the range of emotions and sensations exchanged between Tops and bottoms in play and long term relationships.The book covers not only toys and techniques; more importantly, it covers the emotional and spiritual aspects of power exchange play, taken from the unique perspective only long-time players who "work both sides of the street" can bring. Their use of language is precise and exquisite, evoking memories or invoking fantasies with ease and grace.Every Top should have a copy on the nightstand; every bottom should sneak a peak at the pages as well!

Well written. I hope all the newbies who think Fifty Shades of Grey is a how-to manual actually read this.

An OK intro guide, but useless to those with experience

very informative book. great for beginners full of useful and important information.

Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, authors of The Ethical Slut, have written what are to me the definitive guides to both topping and bottoming BDSM scenes for people new to the lifestyle. I found their experience enlightening and their voice to be comforting. They write and talk like an old friend or a sage aunt about complex and uncomfortable topics.

great book, thanks!

Nice book for either tops or bottoms to read to educate themself in safe, sane, and consensual play activities.

Este livro não se trata de um manual, mas sim de um caso: o dos autores. Eles contam experiências e compartilham o conhecimento que adquiriram em mais de 30 anos dentro do meio do BDSM. Vale a leitura para ventilar as ideas; conhecer novas formas de brincar; e, conhecer o pensamento de outros praticantes.No mais, o livro é escrito de uma forma onde os gêneros são intercambiados, uma hora se usa "he" em outra "she", para não ter problemas com o esteriótipo de "machão alpha dominador". Sem contar as cenas que são descritas, onde a mulher é a top.

This is a fantastically well-written book, and though I'm not a top (trying to do research and be more well-rounded), the information here is valuable in gaining an understanding. The switching with gender pronouns was appreciated, and the case studies were interesting reads. It only isn't perfect (for me!) because there were two chapters on spirituality, and for many of us that isn't useful information. It kind of drags on at the ends for those who don't share the same enthusiasm for spirituality, and I would skip it altogether. It seems more aimed at beginners as it explains basic concepts such as consent, so it is definitely approachable for those who are new to the scene, but enough exploration and discussion for those who have been around for a while. I also think it is more useful for those living in the Bay area of California than say Canada, as their is discussions of groups that simply aren't around in most local groups.

Excellent. All you need to know told in a clear but lighthearted manner

Good solid advice, will return to this one.