Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life

This is the first self-help book I have read cover to cover and in only 2 and 1/2 days. Best book to help one over come the vicious cycle of manipulation. I really felt I was the only one going through something like this with a relative whom offered me a place to stay rent free so I could focus on school only to find myself taking medications to overcome the stress and anxiety this individual was causing me. When I confronted her the few times before I read this book, she would point the finger at me and tell me that I can only cause my own stress and anxiety and that I was the one who was sick. I started to believe these things and my personality changed over time, not to mention my self-esteem declined and I felt I was walking on eggshells. In only 2 1/2 days, all of my worries and beliefs that maybe I was the crazy one subsided. I am scared to death to confront this person and move out but I feel like I have so much more strength to actually do it and I feel like my old self is back and I am already much happier. Great read! It has true stories and scenarios and examples of how to confront the person and what to say and how to say it, as well as, the different types of manipulators you may encounter and there tactics...I will definitely recommend this book to others!

This book gave me the voice I needed in my toxic relationship with an emotionally and mentally manipulative man. For nearly a year and a half in this relationship, I felt myself falling into depressive states fueled by anxiety and resentment on a roller-coaster of highs and lows. I had no idea what was happening, I only knew it was a toxic relationship and I was losing myself more and more without understanding why or how. I had been extremely reluctant to end the relationship up until now because I needed answers out of fear of repeating this type of relationship again. Honestly, this book was an answer to my prayers. It has helped me understand his "games" of manipulation and the darker side to his personality. It was a crucial piece to learning more about myself and how I was susceptible to caring for a man who I really didn't even like for so many reasons yet felt trapped in a relationship with him. The work on myself (boundaries) that needs to be done has just begun while his core issues that need to be handled are finally coming into light. Obviously, he was acting out of fear and insecurities but that doesn't justify bad behavior or having a lack of self control. It's very empowering to identify so completely with a book that helps you feel sane again and to comprehend what is actually happening is a form of abuse. Living with such a man is about as close to insanity as one can feel. Having the strength to leave takes more than courage and willpower, it takes having the power of knowledge to comprehend what can and can not be fixed within a relationship. I highly reccommend this book to anyone trying to remove the "smoke and mirrors" from their relationship. Stop feeling crazy and depressed, and don't be driven to be someone you're not...read this book!!!

Excellent, useful book, but repetitive. Gives concrete information and examples to identify what manipulation is, the corrosive effects of what it does to relationships, and most importantly, how to stop it. The information is concise, specific, eye-opening, valuable and empowering. Great resource for people who are seeking more autonomy, authenticity and assertiveness in their lives. This is a worthwhile read for anyone, but it will be particularly beneficial to women. Culturally, as women, we are often socialized to be agreeable, accommodating and nice, subsuming our needs in favor of others. We are uniquely vulnerable to manipulators because we have been schooled by society and familial norms that seem to sanction these behaviors. For anyone on a journey of self-discovery looking for more personal freedom in their interactions, this book is a good place to start.

This book is a definitive guide (for me) that discusses how and why I have been attractive to narcissistic types as well as fearful-avoidants. A practical look at both sides of manipulation and why the dance continues. Most importantly are the tools to change. I have the insight and the courage. Now I have the map. Highly recommend for anyone who needs it.

I didn't buy this book for me, but for my sister. She is in an abusive relationship and her husband is a master manipulator. I'm not talking about an occasional manipulator, but one that uses all those terrible tricks skillfully and with such ease that it is truly a part of their DNA. After talking to my sister about this book, because I was very nervous sending her something I had not read before...I was so excited to hear that this book was everything I hoped it would be for her. ((Thank you to all those that left reviews that helped me decide on this book!)) She said that this book 'saved her life'...it is helping her to see and understand when she is being manipulated and has given her some tools to help break it. I think she is finally realizing (after 7 years chronically believing that she would somehow make him a better person and the guilt trips he would give her further making her feel trapped) has succumbed to the reality that she CANNOT change him and that she truly has to work on herself and get herself stronger. Thank you Harriet Braiker for writing this book and from what I understand, making it easy to read and understand to the layperson.

As a life coach, I have recommended this book to many people over the years. It's my personal favorite out of all the books on boundaries and assertiveness that I've read. It teaches you how to go from being an easy target - a Pleaser - to being in control of your own life. When you become a hard target, the manipulators in your life will eventually move on to someone who is easier to control. This book helps you to identify the character traits and tactics of manipulators. It introduces you to new ways of thinking that will change how you interact with others. And it teaches you practical skills for dealing with manipulative and controlling people. Excellent book!

Item as described.

This is a really good book if you have someone in your life who is emotionally manipulative but not actually pathological/evil. Most books in this genre (gaslighting/narcissism/manipulation) are designed to help you recognize when someone is truly, relentlessly, and intentionally undermining you--and then leave. This book is for you if your mother makes you miserable with constant guilt trips or your husband throws temper tantrums if he doesn't get his way. You will learn to recognize the tactics these people use and how to stand up to them and take care of yourself. Best book I've seen on this topic.

You don't beleive this book change dmy life i relaised what is going on around me. This book within six months chnaged my entire life. Now i am a succeful professional and having a happy life. I felt so bad that I don't aware of this book much earlier. thanks to the Braiker.

I thought this was a brilliant book. It helped me clearly understand what goes on in the mind of a manipulator and how to stop them in their tracks. It's help clear up and resolve some past issues with a manipulator and put it to bed. I will be reading this book again and again. A lot of the exercises and concepts although relating to manipulation could also be used with anxiety and anxious thinking. Just a very well put together book. Thank you.

This is totally one of the very best books I have ever read on dealing with manipulative people. This is well written, down to earth and full of very practical advice. I love this book , and have actually re-read a number of chapters in it. Highly recommended to those who want to know practical methods and ways to deal effectively with the various types of manipulative people who we encounter in our daily lives. Excellent!!!

C'est un excellent livre pour quiconque estime ne pas entretenir une relation équilibrée ou juste (personnelle ou professionnelle).

This book is the real deal. If you suspect you are under the thumb or if you feel like a doormat then I would strongly recommend that you invest in this book. It is a major eye opener and gives a practical plan to overcome the manipulators in your life. I wasn't sure my life had been subject to so much toxic manipulation and whether it was still on going until I asked myself these two simple questions. In my situation, "Who is getting what they want?" and "Who is getting what they DON'T WANT?" Guess what? I wasn't getting what I wanted BUT I was also getting a whole lot I didn't want. I didn't want, aggression, abuse, stress, financial problems & no respect. If your needs are playing second fiddle to others close to you and your made to feel bad for wanting a life then this book is for you. The great thing is, if you have a Kindle you can read this without others knowing, especially if you put a pin number into your kindle so that only you can open it. The secret to overcoming the manipulators in your life is simple, 'you have to change'. If you are constantly saying Yes to their demands, stop it and start saying No. Sounds easy and at first it isn't but it gets easier and your life will get way better. But honestly, read this book, it explains everything brilliantly and shows the way forward. I am so glad I have bought this book because I am implementing my plan and it is working. For the first time in years and years I feel more in control, happier and it may sound a bit silly, I feel FREE!